The Mighty Thumb

      
            My phone is my sword and my global comfort. There's an intense pain in my chest when I realize I have no Internet or phone connection and that instant panic runs deeper than I care to admit. Being so technologically ingrained at this point the idea of having to ask someone for directions feels prehistoric. I'm hanging on to the idea of self sufficiency but is it really? Or is it the complete opposite? A GPS can only get you as far as the battery lasts but then what? I myself couldn't find my next breath without the Google map App. The world wide web is a powerful weapon and an even more dangerous crutch. A Pandora's box if you will? Remembering life before it is impossible and I can't imagine life without lightning speed search engines and instant media at my fingertips 24 hours a day. If the entire world was denied the Internet for one week starting right now can you imagine the instant chaos and global terror of millions of soccer moms not being able to Google recipes for dinner that night or the billion or so people that are logging on every minute of the day to stalk eachother on Facebook?! Every thought I have either gets written down in my notebook application or else it's completely forgotten, stored away in some invisible database somewhere out there beyond my own brain and far more reliable.  The Internet. WIFI. Digital media. Social networks. My Evita wife Ann Stonehengenginninja eloquently stated how our society is now so completely immersed in access to instant information that we will never again be able to function without that standard again. My brother makes fun of me for treating my phone like the holy grail but his jests are justified. My IPhone is all......my stories, writing, music, computer, GPS, all the images and photos from my life over the past two or so years (yet to be downloaded of course) and my connection to every known contact I have. I maybe have three or four numbers memorized max! Jason jokes at how I'm crippled and nervous without my cell and he's totally correct. I'm a wounded naked disaster without my smart phone attached to me like the tumor it's probably creating. My overly dramatic comparison of having no service would be like floating in a life preserver at night in the middle of a stormy rough ocean with no ship light in sight! Smoke signal? Jesus Christ AT&T give a brother a bar or two I mean I am standing in the middle of Times Square! Making change to use dirty homeless pay phones is not the Manhattan way either. Some dead spots in the city are so surprisingly patchy that I think I might do better if I tied a hand written message to a diseased pigeon foot and sent it flying off into the sunset to find my best friend John with a hopeless note. Or maybe a hand scribbled message in a bottle chucked into the Hudson would be faster than a no-G busted phone? If Safari dares to deny me even once all hell breaks loose and steam starts shooting out of my ears like a cartoon. Its as though I somehow feel entitled to a flawless connection every single time. Do you think there are support groups for cell phone addicts? "Hi, my name is........................Tavid......Dankersley and uh......I'm.....uhh basically a serial texter and a hardcore IPhone abuser. I'm here today (deep breath) to try and get a grip on how to handle my phone plan and my cellular data network."..........................................................Hi Tavid.

                 My fat thumbs on this touch screen are my salvation and I know of no greater comfort than blogging or a strong rollerblading push with Harley. I wonder if there would be anything to write about at all if there were no shitty details threading together our daily lives and making us think? If there's never any discomfort there's probably no growth I'm guessing. The things that I bitch about the most are the very things that I hope will push me to change for the better and evolve past the painful reality of working in a gay bar four nights a week, working the weekends at a low paying skating job, and having no "glass" in which to be empty or full. Fuck full! I'm giving you a flimsy paper dispenser cone or a puddle in my shaky palms. My prison is not the bar or this city (no matter how much time and energy I devote to complaining about it!)  All my problems come from the way I see my own life and my perspective on things......not my actual life! Things are in motion regardless and I must keep my head up and my chest out to even fake the strength. My imbalance is tamed through an attempt at simplifying my life without giving up the juicy reality that the wheel has been invented already, that technology is my sexiest lover, and that gay people can get married well................somewhere.

(laptop graveyard)